In my recent post on Yahoo, Shine, many readers called me bitter, because I made an argument that being a parent does not make me an unproductive employee.

After reading the comments, I realized that, there are not only “mommy wars,” but there are also “parents vs. non-parents” wars. The comments tell me that the non-parents label parents as bitter people.

Well as a parent I certainly do envy those who can make more time for themselves. But bitter? Does having children make me bitter?

According to an article in Newsweek, having children makes people less happy. “Parents experience lower levels of emotional well-being, less frequent positive emotions and more frequent negative emotions than their childless peers,” says Florida State University’s Robin Simon, a sociology professor who’s conducted several recent parenting studies.

I never thought of myself as being bitter. In fact, I thought that women who do not have kids by the time they reach 40’s, are bitter. Perhaps the non-parents are happier then I am.

Then I think about my children and while they take a lot out of me by driving me crazy, I certainly enjoy the hugs, the kisses, saying I love you, watching them grow and learn.

Of course, we always question the choices we make in life. Would it be better if I have kids in my 20’s or 30’s. Would it be better if I got married earlier in life or later in life? What would happen if I had children? What would life be like if I didn’t have children?

Could it be that we are just threatened by each other’s choices in life? Why are we passing judgment or labeling people with such mean words as “bitter?”

I admit. I have labeled people, especially childless 40 something women, as “miserable women.”

Then, I read Mommy Wars by Leslie Morgan Steiner and realized that it’s best if we respect each other for the choices we make because they are all very personal. 

What about you?  Do you feel bitter or less happy because you are a parent?

Filed under: Balancing Act